I have not written in a little while. At first, there were Christmas holidays, and then the busy-ness of the new year started. And I simply did not feel like writing.
I really appreciate that I am not doing this process on my own, and that I have the monthly group meetings to look forward to. Usually the last week before each class is the most difficult one. I seem to completely lose motivation and honestly feel like giving it all up. Meeting everyone again and learning all the new and fascinating things about eyesight inspires me again for a few weeks each time. I really think this is the reason why I stopped the routines last time I tried to learn all of this on my own - finding people that believe in what you are trying to achieve and can cheer you up along the way is important in most challenges, and it really applies to eyesight improvement. Especially, as it seems to be one of those subjects that everyone around needs to be persuaded about - that it works, that it is possible - and it is not an easy task when one is trying to keep themselves motivated.
The last weekend with the group, however, was quite tricky. I had had a very busy week at work, so by the time the weekend came, I felt a lot of tension in my eyes, neck and entire back. It has not been easy for me to take the glasses off and try to manage multiple complex spreadsheets without feeling tense. There are days when I can use pinhole glasses and enjoy slowing down and taking lots of breaks, but sometimes it just doesn't work - like when I have to do lots and need to do it quickly. In any case, I talked to our course supervisor about it. I was not prepared for my reaction to her gentleness and compassion about this. All of a sudden during our little private conversation I had tears filling up my eyes. She simply explained that the WHOLE POINT of natural eyesight improvement is relaxing the eyes, therefore, that needs to be a priority no matter what, even if that means a few days during the week with reduced strength glasses or contact lens. It's hard to explain but it felt like one of those moments of having my experience and feelings completely validated, as if someone was giving me a complete permission slip to feel relaxed and OK about all of it. It is so beautiful when other people somehow allow us to do something that we are unwilling to allow ourselves.
And that has made all of the difference. Everything feels more balanced somehow. There are moments in the day when I am perfectly happy to enjoy more blurry view and accept what is, but then I also have days when I use my reduced strength contacts and feel so happy and enjoy the clarity - like seeing all the beauty of Hobbit in cinema, or our dog's hair while cleaning the house. The journey continues on.
I really appreciate that I am not doing this process on my own, and that I have the monthly group meetings to look forward to. Usually the last week before each class is the most difficult one. I seem to completely lose motivation and honestly feel like giving it all up. Meeting everyone again and learning all the new and fascinating things about eyesight inspires me again for a few weeks each time. I really think this is the reason why I stopped the routines last time I tried to learn all of this on my own - finding people that believe in what you are trying to achieve and can cheer you up along the way is important in most challenges, and it really applies to eyesight improvement. Especially, as it seems to be one of those subjects that everyone around needs to be persuaded about - that it works, that it is possible - and it is not an easy task when one is trying to keep themselves motivated.
The last weekend with the group, however, was quite tricky. I had had a very busy week at work, so by the time the weekend came, I felt a lot of tension in my eyes, neck and entire back. It has not been easy for me to take the glasses off and try to manage multiple complex spreadsheets without feeling tense. There are days when I can use pinhole glasses and enjoy slowing down and taking lots of breaks, but sometimes it just doesn't work - like when I have to do lots and need to do it quickly. In any case, I talked to our course supervisor about it. I was not prepared for my reaction to her gentleness and compassion about this. All of a sudden during our little private conversation I had tears filling up my eyes. She simply explained that the WHOLE POINT of natural eyesight improvement is relaxing the eyes, therefore, that needs to be a priority no matter what, even if that means a few days during the week with reduced strength glasses or contact lens. It's hard to explain but it felt like one of those moments of having my experience and feelings completely validated, as if someone was giving me a complete permission slip to feel relaxed and OK about all of it. It is so beautiful when other people somehow allow us to do something that we are unwilling to allow ourselves.
And that has made all of the difference. Everything feels more balanced somehow. There are moments in the day when I am perfectly happy to enjoy more blurry view and accept what is, but then I also have days when I use my reduced strength contacts and feel so happy and enjoy the clarity - like seeing all the beauty of Hobbit in cinema, or our dog's hair while cleaning the house. The journey continues on.
No comments:
Post a Comment