I had a wonderful break over the festive season. It was so incredible to not travel for holidays for what felt like the first time in years, I had forgotten how nice it is to just be at home. On average, I would say I slept extra 3 hours per day which was so restful and relaxing. The rest of the days were spent eating delicious foods, going for walks, and playing board games with my family.
Compared to my usual working week, I hardly spent any time in front of the computer, and despite not following any intense eye routines, my eyesight felt more rested and relaxed. My small practices during the day are to do some palming, sunning, long swings, a few minutes of shifting, and upon noticing that my eyes are tired, trying to relax the face and the gaze. I also wear pinhole glasses when I use computer or watch TV,
The relaxation I felt over the last couple of weeks is slowly waning now that I am back to work since the beginning of this week. Today when we went for a walk in evening light, I had a sort of 'down' moment thinking that perhaps the whole challenge is too big for my eyesight. I have no problem believing that others can do it or that in theory this is possible and works, but somehow today I was having doubts as to whether I can achieve this. There was nearly a moment of resigning that perhaps in my case and with my lifestyle and job that requires a lot of tension in front of the screen, the changes will be smaller and just enough that I can sort of feel comfortable navigating the world mostly without glasses. It felt difficult to imagine seeing it all with perfect clarity and focus naturally, when this is not something that I have any memories of.
One of the things that is difficult to balance for me is having different eye routines without them becoming laws or strict to-do-list because I know that such tension will not bring relaxation to my eyes. I am also still struggling to engage with the eye chart. Despite our professors saying that it is one of the most important tools for eyesight improvement and relaxation, I am not feeling any draw towards it, and don't really spend significant amounts of time with it (I have a few copies of them plastered in areas where I pass by and can occasionally glance towards).
I know that I don't always feel like that. There genuinely are sunny beautiful days when it seems I am so close to 'mastering it', as everything looks so vivid and clear. I am grateful that every time I feel a little down with the process, I have an opportunity to connect with all my fellow students and professors face to face. It is always such a great support and a boost to my motivation to continue with all these new habits even when it feels like the challenge is too big. Let's see what happens at the course this weekend!
Compared to my usual working week, I hardly spent any time in front of the computer, and despite not following any intense eye routines, my eyesight felt more rested and relaxed. My small practices during the day are to do some palming, sunning, long swings, a few minutes of shifting, and upon noticing that my eyes are tired, trying to relax the face and the gaze. I also wear pinhole glasses when I use computer or watch TV,
The relaxation I felt over the last couple of weeks is slowly waning now that I am back to work since the beginning of this week. Today when we went for a walk in evening light, I had a sort of 'down' moment thinking that perhaps the whole challenge is too big for my eyesight. I have no problem believing that others can do it or that in theory this is possible and works, but somehow today I was having doubts as to whether I can achieve this. There was nearly a moment of resigning that perhaps in my case and with my lifestyle and job that requires a lot of tension in front of the screen, the changes will be smaller and just enough that I can sort of feel comfortable navigating the world mostly without glasses. It felt difficult to imagine seeing it all with perfect clarity and focus naturally, when this is not something that I have any memories of.
One of the things that is difficult to balance for me is having different eye routines without them becoming laws or strict to-do-list because I know that such tension will not bring relaxation to my eyes. I am also still struggling to engage with the eye chart. Despite our professors saying that it is one of the most important tools for eyesight improvement and relaxation, I am not feeling any draw towards it, and don't really spend significant amounts of time with it (I have a few copies of them plastered in areas where I pass by and can occasionally glance towards).
I know that I don't always feel like that. There genuinely are sunny beautiful days when it seems I am so close to 'mastering it', as everything looks so vivid and clear. I am grateful that every time I feel a little down with the process, I have an opportunity to connect with all my fellow students and professors face to face. It is always such a great support and a boost to my motivation to continue with all these new habits even when it feels like the challenge is too big. Let's see what happens at the course this weekend!
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